Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Tribute to Examples and the People Who Set Them

On my floor the RA put papers on each door with the name of the people that live inside. For example, our door has two papers taped to it, one with my name, Kelly, and another with my room mates name, Kristin. As far as I can tell, each paper has an inspirational quote at the bottom of it. The quote that accompanies my paper goes as follows:

"Mistakes can often be as good a teacher as success."

Ironic? I thought so.

You know that quote that says something about how some peoples purpose is to be an example to others of what NOT to do? I've always thought how much it sucks to be those people. But when I look at stuff that I've done the only solace I have is to think "Well, at least I know that I never want to do that again", "at least I know that's not what I want for myself", and "at least I'll be able to help other people by advising them against doing what I did".

I always make decisions because I think they'll work out, and then while they're happening or after they happen I think "Man, this might have turned out better if I hadn't done that." Ross used to be bothered by some action I took and I'd say something along the lines of "Okay, I won't do that next time." but then something similar (but not the same) would happen and I'd do the same thing. (I wish I could be more specific, I just can't remember an actual example.) And Ross would say that I'd done it again, and I'd say "It was a different situation, I didn't know it would be wrong in that situation." And Ross would say something relating to how he wishes I didn't always have to make a mistake first, that it'd be nice if sometimes I could just know not to do something.

The truth is that sometimes I do KNOW not to do something and I don't do it, other times I KNOW not to do something but I do it anyway... because its what I want to do, or because I really just want to believe its the right thing, other times I feel that there is reasonable doubt, and then sometimes, I feel pressured to choose wrongly as to not hurt someone else. I'm sure there are scenarios other than this.

I don't know if I've written this before but I once told my camp kids that a pretty reliable way to tell what the right thing to do is, is that the right choice is usually the more difficult one. Not always true, but it definitely can be.

Moral of this post?
Eff decisions not being black and white.

This post rambles a lot... sorry. I was doing a lot of other things while I was trying to write it. I finally gave up.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Because I hold the Record

I hold the record for crying in the widest variety of places, at least when it comes down to our friends. I would guess, although I dont have hard proof.

Once I believe there was either a postsecret or a response to a post secret that said something about how nice and concerned people are when they see someone distraught in pubic. It true. And it only makes me cry harder.

I couldn't tell you the number of times I've cried just thinking about how nice people are. I'm always impressed when people care enough to show concern. Friends and strangers alike.

Don't think that the times I've cried weren't completely warranted. I'm not usually that sensitive, special circumstances over a span of months. I don't cry like that anymore.

One day I'll go into detail, have shout outs, the whole deal.

Sunday, August 3, 2008